Friday, October 30

apparently I have huge calves.

I'm kind of distressed. (Note the distressed and slightly disgruntled face below.)


It's fall. And that means it's boot weather. Cool, awesome. I like boots. It's boot season. Amazing. I'm going to go out and buy some boots.

Right?

WRONG.

My stupid calves are cock-blocking my boot wearing abilities. And, believe you me, I can wear boots. Oh, I wear them good. When they fit.

And they aren't.

First, let me tell you a little bit about myself: I walk. I'm a walker. I enjoy walking. For example, last night I walked from Carlton and Church all the way home, which is at Brock and College. Google Maps is now telling me that it was a 4.7KM (or about 3mi) walk. I did it in about 45 minutes.

Yes, see, I like walking. I listen to music and think about how awesome I am. And I'm so awesome I use up that whole 45 minutes. Heck, I even took an extra lap around my block to ensure optimal awesome-thinking time.

Well, now that we've established that I'm awesome... I mean, that I love to walk, let me tell you the one drawback:

My calves. They are huge. Huge. I never really thought so, but I've noticed lately that they definitely bulge and have a lot of definition. And apparently they don't fit into boots.

I just want a nice pair of freakin' knee high, zip-up boots. Maybe even thigh high (woah, dream big). But for now, I'm stuck with ankle boots and a pair of almost-at-my-calves boots.

I'm learning now, from a very intelligent friend, that I could take a pair of boots I really love to a cobbler and have them add a panel and enlarge the shaft of the boot. Wicked. That will definitely work for a pair of rad leather boots.

But what about the red Hunter Wellies I tried to buy today? I'm from England, dammit. I want my Wellies and I want them red and I want them now.


Sigh.

I guess I just wasn't meant to wear Wellies. Or maybe I'm not meant to walk anywhere. But, if I didn't walk anywhere outside (resulting in smaller calves), then I wouldn't have as great a need for Wellies.

Oh. Snap.

[Note: Yes, I know about the Huntress style of Hunters, aka the ones for people with big calves; I guess Huntresses have fat calves, eh. Who knew. But even those are too snug. Damn. I guess I surpass 'Huntress' calf status.]

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