Poutine. It's so hot right now. Hansel. I mean, poutine.

I'm in Oakville for a few days. It's where I went to school, unfortunately, and even more unfortunately, it's where my mum and brother still live.

But as Jillian and Pete point out, there is a delicious sammich place on Lakeshore. And there's also a Marble Slab. So that makes it okay. Almost bearable.

I also sometimes enjoy spending time with my mum.

Sometimes.

And always if she brings ice cream or sammiches into the equation. Or both.

Anyway, my brother picked me up and announced we were going to make poutine.

Amazing!

From scratch.

What?

And we actually did! Sort of.

We went to Whole Foods. Yes, for some reason he was insistent on having the fanciest kind of poutine ever. We actually found cheese curds and organic beef stock. We decided to NOT buy butter from Whole Foods, as it is way too expensive for our greasy poutine needs. And then we learned that Whole Foods only carries frozen sweet potato fries.

That and alphabet shaped fries. Go figure.

I've decided that Whole Foods is a huge waste of my time. And for overly fancy people or people who want to appear overly fancy. I just can't support a store that doesn't carry frozen french fries.

And, also, Whole Foods has this habit of leaving bowls of organic popcorn and fancy chips at the ends of the aisles. No supervision or signage or anything. I think I might just accidentally have a chip and find myself having some sort of awful allergic reaction and I'll just have to sue. Sigh. Such a burden.

But, really, think of all those dirty hands reaching into those bowls. Mine are definitely dirty. You don't want to know where they've been today.

Those four things cost almost $30. Who knew cheese curds were so expensive. And the organic chocolate was just for me. And just about the same price as the gravy stock.

Basically, if I shopped at Whole Foods all the time, I'd be broke. I think the rule is: I should only shop at Whole Foods once I have an Audi and a very long driveway leading up to a very large house with a very large garage in which to park said Audi. And my Vespa. And my Segway. Yeah.

Brother actually made all of it. I just stood around making "thumbs up" signs and talking with friends on MSN. I'm a good helper.

It was actually the most delicious poutine ever. Very tasty. Two thumbs up! And I also really want my camera back. The end.

You Can Never Be Too Prepared.

When it comes to parties, I am not the Awesome Dancer Chick, nor am I the Only Endearing For The First Hour Raging Alcoholic, or the Telling Not That Funny Stories Way Too Obnoxiously Person.

And those are definitely the only party stereotypes. Mostly because I'm too tired to think of anymore.

In an effort to not be any of those stereotypes, I've decided to become the Wow She Thought Of Everything Girl. I contribute years of Girl Scouts and a borderline obsessive compulsion to always be in control to developing this skill. And I like helping people. And being organized.

My good friend is throwing an impressively awesome book launch party on Thursday. I've been helping her out and I thought to myself, "Hey there gorgeous, you should make a party emergency kit to avoid any party disasters. You'll be the hit of the party!"

And so I compiled a list while daydreaming about finally being the hit of a party. It's about time, really. Maybe I'll get a trophy. Well, yeah, I guess that's a bit much. A standing ovation at the very least, though. Come on.

Here is my list of things, all organized in little plastic zip bags. Behold: 

You might be thinking, woah there, that's a lot of stuff. And you are right, it is. But when you are trying to be prepared for the possibility of anything and everything, you need a lot of stuff. So much stuff. And you also have to keep in mind that I am a little insane. This is the stuff organized in a nice little bag. See? That's a bit more manageable. Okay, not by much.

But when I'm a this party and some person is wandering around in a tizzy because her dress is static clinging to her nylons, I'll be the one to save the day with my anti-static spray. And she'll be so grateful she'll give me a car or a pony or something. And I'll graciously decline and be all, oh it was my pleasure, and she'll insist and I'll just have to take a Highland Pony in white and a Mini Cooper in blue.

Or what if you're making out with your boyfriend in the corner (really tacky, by the way) and he gets a bit too frisky and rips a little hole in your dress and you're in a panic because you can totally see your hoo-ha. Well, guess what? I have a sewing kit. Too bad you made fun of my prepared-ness and now I don't really feel like fixing the hole in your dress.

Ha.

I don't always prepare this much for normal parties or just going out, but for very important parties, it is a must. Here is the list in all it's glory, in case you were wondering what "every possible thing one might need for a party emergency" is:

wardrobe:
-lint roller
-double sided tape
-needle/thread
-safety pins
-Tide To-Go Pen
-Febreeze

hygiene:
-deodorant
-mouth wash
-floss
-gum/mints
-baby powder

health:
-Pepto Bismal
-Advil/Tylenol
-allergy medication
-cold/sinus medication
-cough drops/lozenges
-energy bar etc (something not cake or candy)
-blister band aids
-tissues
-eye drops
-contact lens solution
-tampons
-cotton swabs

appearance:
-nail file
-clear polish
-nail clippers
-tweezers
-hair spray
-bobby pins/elastics
-nylons
-comb
-basic makeup (eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss)
-blotting papers

misc:
-Blackberry charger
-extra Blackberry battery
-pen/paper
-extra shoes
-emergency cash