I have piles of irrational fears.

Like the title suggests, I have piles of irrational fears. Maybe even enough to put in to two piles. Two very large piles, though. Like, taller than me. (And we all remember how tall I am.)

I thought it would be fun to list some of my irrational fears. So then we can all laugh at what a bizarre (and--more likely than not--disturbed) person I am. And it's fun to laugh at weirdos. Don't listen to your mom: it really is fun. Try it some time. And don't forget to point for increased enjoyment.

Okay. OKAY. Ready? Set. Go:

Advice Narhwal Says: Never Upload A Photographer's Unedited Samples

Remember way back when and there was that guy who gave everyone lots of unsolicited advice and he said the most important thing was to wear sunscreen and for some reason there was really annoying music playing in the background?

Yeah? Yeah! I think he also said I should dance like no one is watching and live in New York at least once and LA at least once. But that I should leave before one made me hard and the other made me soft. Which leads me to believe that I should just live somewhere in the middle, so I can stay . . . soft yet firm? Huh.

Anyway.

I was thinking that I have piles and piles of advice that I too can dole out despite the fact that no one is asking. But instead of doing mine all spoken-word style, I thought I'd do something way more rad. I present to you: Advice Narwhal.

How to Make Confetti.

I was making some confetti the other day, and I thought to myself, "Hey, Siân. How are you today? Swell? Oh, that's fantastic. You're looking rather fetching, I must say. Oh, you are most welcome. Hm? Oh, right. Well, I was just thinking, confetti is sort of awesome. And here you are creating confetti; you are creating awesome. You are like a mighty god of paper related awesome. And with such a power comes great responsibility. You must share it with the world. Go forth and spread the word of confetti. Also, go get yourself a Blizzard--you deserve it."

So, here I am. Shall we begin?

Confetti is very easy to make, but somewhat time consuming, especially when made all by your lonesome. Follow these easy instructions for optimal confetti-making goodness.

Step One: Gather your paper. You can use whatever sort of paper your little heart desires. I used some wrapping paper because I figured it would be light (a good quality for confetti to have, as it will float around in the air a lot better after having been thrown), and since it is double sided, I get two colours with all the effort of cutting one. It's like a confetti double rainbow.